Whatever love is in its proper meaning,most people think of it as that mysterious element in unanalyzed human experience which is the deepest moving force of human activity.The literature of all times and cultures testifies to this natural conviction.Now,desire (conscious drive or urge or tendency)is the most obvious claimant to that title and so to the name of love.To say that it is the most obvious claimant is not to confer legitimacy on its claim.As we shall see, there are many who will dub it a false pretender.Nevertheless its claim is so powerfully backed by evidence that there seem to be more, both learned and unlearned,who accept its claim than they would the claim of any other affection.As might be expected,therefore,it is also the one which is more often attacked than any other by those who hold a variety of other notions about love.For this reason alone love as desire would in any case be one good starting point for a dialectical survey of opinions on the nature of love,because most of the other important opinions are developed in relation to desire.That is to say,the notion of love is explained by opposing it to desire as a contrary,as a source,or as a goal of desire.
A preliminary comment on the meaning of the words used here may help to avoid misunderstanding.Such words as desire,drive, urge,and tendency,as referring to conscious affective acts,all have a basic common meaning:they all refer to some affective movement toward,a psychic going-out-to an object which is in some way distant, as yet unattained.Some of the writers who use these words are very clearly using them with this common meaning;for they use the words interchangeably.Paul Tillich usually employs the word “drive ” when he is giving an explicit definition of love.However,he easily substitutes other words in the course of his discussion and even sometimes in explicit definitions.Thus we find him using such words as “desire ” or “urge ” or “movement ” or “process ” as well as “drive ” Others are not so clear about what is implied by speaking of love as tendency.They distinguish desire from love and yet speak of the latter as a tendency,a going-out-to and so on.Or some distinguish two kinds of love,one of which is desire,and then speak of the other as a tendency.Thus Johann (1955,10) clearly opposes what he calls “direct love ” to desire and is emphatic that in direct love the lover responds to the object absolutely as opposed to desire which always refers its object to another (6,17,45,59);nevertheless,he continues to speak of this love as a tendency (12-13,45).It is not made clear how one can have a tendency toward an object with which one is already in union
insofar as one is in union (one can,of course, tend toward further union or even continued union) or how a conscious affective tendency to an object which is in some sense distant can be anything other than desire.However that may be,for the authors whom we will consider now under the heading of love as desire,there is no need to distinguish between the conscious experiences of desire,drive,urge,tendency.The terms can be used interchangeably.
If we now ask what evidence there is for asserting that desire or tendency is love in the basic meaning of the word,we must give a twofold answer.On the one hand,there is a vast mass of evidence gathered from observation of ordinary human experience and from clinical reports which points to desire as a root of some other affections and of action.In fact,the evidence is so impressive that one readily tends to think that desire is the root affection,which makes our human world go round,that is,love.On the other hand,there is evidence that desire itself derives from a less obvious because more radical affection.Let us first consider how it looks to those who make desire irreducible and identify it with what people usually mean by love.
The two classic statements of this position are those of Plato and Freud.Superficially alike but radically different,they yet concur in asserting that desire is the essence of those experiences commonly called love in human conscious life.An interesting and valuable contemporary position is that of Tillich who,in a carefully systematized development,controverts Freud and joins the Platonic with the Christian tradition,integrating eros and agape as he understands them. These three,Plato,Freud,and Tillich,will give us a well-rounded understanding of this way of thinking about love.Along with this notion of love as tendency,we will consider Spinoza ’s notion of love as
joy.There are two reasons for doing so:first,it has much in common,as we shall see,with the notions of love as desire or tendency; and second,most of those who conceive of love as the source of desire conceive of it also as the source of joy.
Friday
HOW TO HAVE A GOOD MEETING
- - - Meeting - - -
In a meeting, two or more people come together for the purpose of discussing a (usually) predetermined topic such as business or community event planning, often in a formal setting.
In addition to coming together physically (in real life, face to face), communication lines and equipment can also be set up to have a discussion between people at different locations, e.g. a conference call or an e-meeting.
In organizations, meetings are an important vehicle for human communication. They are so common and pervasive in organizations, however, that many take them for granted and forget that, unless properly planned and executed,
meetings can be a terrible waste of precious resources.
Because of their importance, a career in professional meeting planning has emerged in recent years. In addition, the field of Meeting Facilitation has formalized with an internationally-recognized "Certified Professional Facilitator" designation through the International Association of Facilitators (IAF)
* First of all, consider whether the meeting is really necessary. To have a meeting just for the sake of it is a waste of time and resource. Could the business in hand be dealt with by a telephone call, an exchange of e-mails, an audio conferencing call or a video conference or could it simply wait until the next scheduled meeting?
* If a meeting is necessary, make sure that the right people are going to be there. Too many people and the meeting is likely to be unproductive; too few and affected individuals are likely to feel excluded. If the meeting is of a standing body, extra individuals may need to be invited for particular agenda items.
* Make sure than everyone knows in good time when and where the meeting will be held, who will be there, and what will be discussed. If you know that someone is out of the office or on holiday until just before the meeting, make special arrangements to advise them of the relevant details.
* Make sure that everyone has the agenda, minutes of the previous meeting, and all the necessary supporting papers in good time for them to be read, considered, and consulted upon.
* Provide a suitable room and ambiance. Everyone should be able to sit in comfort and see each other. The room should be well-lit and well-ventilated. There may be a need for a flip chart and felt-tip pens or an overhead projector or a laptop for a PowerPoint presentation. If it is appropriate, flowers or fruit or candles may provide a pleasant atmosphere.
* The meeting should start on time and finish on time - and everyone should know that this will be the case. This will encourage people to come along, knowing that the meeting will not go on endlessly, and it will encourage them to arrive for the scheduled start time, knowing that if they do not they will have missed some of the business.
* The opening of a meeting is important. It helps if the chair briefly sets the scene and indicates the purpose or aims of the meeting. Some organisations like to open meetings with a few moments of stillness or contemplation, so that everyone mentally puts everything else to one side and focuses on the meeting and what they want out of it.
* Each agenda item should have an appropriate time allocation, reflecting the importance of the item and the amount of discussion anticipated. This timetable should be a guide and not a straitjacket - it will assist a sensible prioritisation of business, but some flexibility will be necessary in the light of the amount of discussion which is found to be necessary and the strength of feeling on the controversial issues.
* Consider having one or two short breaks. This will allow people to go the toilet or have a smoke and it is likely to help everyone to stay fresh and focused. If there is real tension over an issue, a short break may clear the air and allow a new approach.
* The best meetings allow everyone to have a say and allocate the resultant work among the team members. If this does not seem to be happening, you can encourage the chair of the meeting with timely interventions along these lines: "I think that Jane would like to make a point", "I'd be interested to know what John thinks", and "Does everyone have something to do?"
* The very best meetings generate new and exciting ideas. This is most likely to be achieved if everyone is allowed to express a view and not cut off or put down as soon as they appear to challenge the conventional wisdom or organisational orthodoxy, if everyone is encouraged to put forward suggestions even if at first they seem novel or counter-cultural, and if everyone really listens to what is being said and judges ideas on their merits and not on the basis of who put them forward.
* Effective meetings should be action-orientated. Therefore, at the end of every agenda item, it should be clear what has been agreed, who is to be responsible for giving effect to this agreement, and what is the timescale for implementation. If this is not the case, say to the chair of the meeting: "Before we leave this item, can I just be sure what we have agreed here?" or "Can we just clarify who is going to be responsible for that decision?" or "When do we want this to be done?"
* The conclusion of a meeting is important. The chair should summarize what has been achieved or agreed, thank everyone for their contributions and support, and try to ensure that people leave the room feeling good about the time they have devoted to the meeting.
* At the end of the meeting, you should be clear what you need to do as a result of the meeting and quickly carry out your action points or allocate them to a colleague. Delay will tend to lead to you overlooking your action points or postponing them to the last moment.
* Minutes of meetings should be produced as soon as possible. They should focus on what has been agreed and make clear who is responsible for actioning each decision and what timescale is expected of that person. The minutes should be circulated not just to all those who attended, but also to those invited but unable to attend, to any other colleagues involved in any of the action points, and to others who need to know what is going on or who will be affected by the decisions.
What A TEAM ?????
* A team needs a good leader. Usually, in a work situation, the leader is chosen by people outside the team. In more social contexts, the team may choose the leader. If you are leading a team, you might want to read my advice on
* A team needs to be the right size. There is no precise figure here, but generally speaking one would expect a team to be around 8-12 members; smaller and supervision runs the danger of being excessive, larger and it is difficult for the leader to exercise effective control.
* A team needs members with a variety of skills. The nature of these skills will depend on the organisation and the task. However, typically one might want someone good with figures as well as someone good with words, someone who is effective at getting things done as well someone who is a creative thinker. It is important to avoid the temptation to chose too many like-minded members and team members need to know and respect the skills of others in the team.
* A team needs members with a variety of personalities. Again the nature of these personalities will depend on the organisation and the task. One might want an introvert as well as an extrovert and a maturer person as well as a younger one. Gender and ethnic differences can also make a creative contribution to an effective team.
* A team needs to bond. Some of this can be in done in the course of carrying out team tasks. However, it is good to create more specific opportunities for bonding that are outside the normal work schedule and situation, such as strategy sessions, training course and social events. One should take opportunities to celebrate successes - such as winning a new contract or fulfilling a particular project - and to celebrate occasions - such as birthdays of team members.
* A team needs to be able to resolve internal conflicts. However well a team bonds, it is likely that from time to time there will be differences in the team. This should not be unexpected or even always avoided; it is an inevitable feature of creative people having different ideas. So you might like to check out my advice on "How To Resolve Conflict"
* A team needs good communications. People need to know what is expected of them, what is happening in the organisation, and how all this effects them as individuals and as a team. In many ways, the best communication is face-to-face but this can be time-consuming and may not always be practical. These days e-mail is an efficient means of communication, provided that it is not overdone or used as a way of avoiding difficult encounters.
* A team needs shared values and a shared vision. All team members need to know and agree how the team is going to work and what it is trying to do. This might involve having some sort of strategy session - maybe facilitated by someone outside the team - with exercises to ensure that the values and the vision are embraced by all.
* A team needs to be empowered. There are two elements to this. First, the team collectively needs to be given the resources and the authority to achieve the objectives set for it. Second, each individual needs to know what is expected of him or her but left to work out for himself or herself how best to achieve this on a day to day basis.
* A team needs trust. Members need to trust each other and most especially the team leader. This requires open and honest communication, acceptance of a 'no blame' culture, and a recognition that every mistake is an occasion for learning and not an excuse to criticise.
* A team needs to be flexible. There are two elements to this. First, roles in the team should not be rigid - it is the team's success that matters more than who exactly does what. Second, the composition and existence of the team needs to be flexible so, if a new skill is needed, one might add a new member to the team, but conversely, if the team's project is satisfactorily completed, there might be no continued need for the team.
"How To Be A Good Leader"
* A team needs to be the right size. There is no precise figure here, but generally speaking one would expect a team to be around 8-12 members; smaller and supervision runs the danger of being excessive, larger and it is difficult for the leader to exercise effective control.
* A team needs members with a variety of skills. The nature of these skills will depend on the organisation and the task. However, typically one might want someone good with figures as well as someone good with words, someone who is effective at getting things done as well someone who is a creative thinker. It is important to avoid the temptation to chose too many like-minded members and team members need to know and respect the skills of others in the team.
* A team needs members with a variety of personalities. Again the nature of these personalities will depend on the organisation and the task. One might want an introvert as well as an extrovert and a maturer person as well as a younger one. Gender and ethnic differences can also make a creative contribution to an effective team.
* A team needs to bond. Some of this can be in done in the course of carrying out team tasks. However, it is good to create more specific opportunities for bonding that are outside the normal work schedule and situation, such as strategy sessions, training course and social events. One should take opportunities to celebrate successes - such as winning a new contract or fulfilling a particular project - and to celebrate occasions - such as birthdays of team members.
* A team needs to be able to resolve internal conflicts. However well a team bonds, it is likely that from time to time there will be differences in the team. This should not be unexpected or even always avoided; it is an inevitable feature of creative people having different ideas. So you might like to check out my advice on "How To Resolve Conflict"
* A team needs good communications. People need to know what is expected of them, what is happening in the organisation, and how all this effects them as individuals and as a team. In many ways, the best communication is face-to-face but this can be time-consuming and may not always be practical. These days e-mail is an efficient means of communication, provided that it is not overdone or used as a way of avoiding difficult encounters.
* A team needs shared values and a shared vision. All team members need to know and agree how the team is going to work and what it is trying to do. This might involve having some sort of strategy session - maybe facilitated by someone outside the team - with exercises to ensure that the values and the vision are embraced by all.
* A team needs clear objectives. Ideally these objectives ought to be SMART - that is, specific, measurable, achievable, resourced, timed. For more information on this, check out my advice on
"How To Produce A Strategic Plan"
"How To Produce A Strategic Plan"
* A team needs to be empowered. There are two elements to this. First, the team collectively needs to be given the resources and the authority to achieve the objectives set for it. Second, each individual needs to know what is expected of him or her but left to work out for himself or herself how best to achieve this on a day to day basis.
* A team needs trust. Members need to trust each other and most especially the team leader. This requires open and honest communication, acceptance of a 'no blame' culture, and a recognition that every mistake is an occasion for learning and not an excuse to criticise.
* A team needs to be flexible. There are two elements to this. First, roles in the team should not be rigid - it is the team's success that matters more than who exactly does what. Second, the composition and existence of the team needs to be flexible so, if a new skill is needed, one might add a new member to the team, but conversely, if the team's project is satisfactorily completed, there might be no continued need for the team.
Share Happiness
Happiness is a choice. The more happiness you choose, the more life presents you with experiences to feel happy about. If you are feeling blue or even downright depressed, you must make the decision to “get happy.”
The following tips can help you; however, if you are seriously depressed, get some professional help. There are many new cutting-edge energy therapies that clear away negative emotions and negative thinking. Find a professional who is more interested in giving you tools and guidance in generating more happiness than in trying to figure out why you feel the way you do. It is not necessary to find out why we feel sad or depressed to clear these feelings.
The bottom line is, if we give a lot of attention to what we don’t want, we create more of it. To learn more about emotional release therapies that are designed to work with the mind/body energy system, including thoughts and feelings.
1. Choose to be happy rather than right.
2. Repeat aloud: “It doesn’t matter.”
3. Pay it forward. For every kind deed offered to you, do a kind deed for someone else.
4. Write thank-you notes frequently. The energy of gratitude feeds happiness.
5. Smile—even if you don’t feel like it. You eventually will!
6. “Tap-out” your sad feelings. Using your fingertips, tap all over the top of your
head while repeating: “I am free of this sadness. I am now feeling happy.”
Tapping on the nerve endings on the top of your head will start to lift this
heavy, sad energy.
7. When you think a complimentary thought about someone—tell them.
8. Refrain from making judgments—think something positive instead.
9. Whistle.
10. Skip around your house.
11. Turn on your favorite upbeat song and sing along.
12. Ask your angels to flow to you the energy of happiness.
13. Patch your right eye if you are thinking negative thoughts. When you put an
eye patch on your right eye, you quiet the left brain and its negative chatter.
14. Hug someone—tightly.
15. Ask your children to tuck you in bed and read you a story for a change.
16. Stay in the present. Let the future be just that: the future.
17. Hold a newborn baby and welcome them into the world.
18. Give some service to someone who is more needy than you.
19. Exercise regularly.
20. Pray and meditate. And, just because I like to give a little extra, because it
makes me happy,
21. Love yourself and make the choice to “BE HAPPY.”
The following tips can help you; however, if you are seriously depressed, get some professional help. There are many new cutting-edge energy therapies that clear away negative emotions and negative thinking. Find a professional who is more interested in giving you tools and guidance in generating more happiness than in trying to figure out why you feel the way you do. It is not necessary to find out why we feel sad or depressed to clear these feelings.
The bottom line is, if we give a lot of attention to what we don’t want, we create more of it. To learn more about emotional release therapies that are designed to work with the mind/body energy system, including thoughts and feelings.
1. Choose to be happy rather than right.
2. Repeat aloud: “It doesn’t matter.”
3. Pay it forward. For every kind deed offered to you, do a kind deed for someone else.
4. Write thank-you notes frequently. The energy of gratitude feeds happiness.
5. Smile—even if you don’t feel like it. You eventually will!
6. “Tap-out” your sad feelings. Using your fingertips, tap all over the top of your
head while repeating: “I am free of this sadness. I am now feeling happy.”
Tapping on the nerve endings on the top of your head will start to lift this
heavy, sad energy.
7. When you think a complimentary thought about someone—tell them.
8. Refrain from making judgments—think something positive instead.
9. Whistle.
10. Skip around your house.
11. Turn on your favorite upbeat song and sing along.
12. Ask your angels to flow to you the energy of happiness.
13. Patch your right eye if you are thinking negative thoughts. When you put an
eye patch on your right eye, you quiet the left brain and its negative chatter.
14. Hug someone—tightly.
15. Ask your children to tuck you in bed and read you a story for a change.
16. Stay in the present. Let the future be just that: the future.
17. Hold a newborn baby and welcome them into the world.
18. Give some service to someone who is more needy than you.
19. Exercise regularly.
20. Pray and meditate. And, just because I like to give a little extra, because it
makes me happy,
21. Love yourself and make the choice to “BE HAPPY.”
only Happy no Worry
Are you still waiting for your circumstances to change before you’ll allow yourself to be happy? Most of us have preconceived ideas of what would make us happy, and we refuse to be satisfied until those things happen.
The problem with this pattern of thinking is that, even if those specific things happen in our lives, we’re rarely satisfied with them! Instead, we shift our focus to something even bigger and better, believing “it” will make us happy (or happier). We never allow ourselves to reach a point of contentment. Have you done the same thing to yourself?
The good news is that you can decide to be happy NOW – even if not everything in your life is perfect.
Below you’ll find 3 easy ways to do so:
1) Be grateful. Gratitude is one of the most powerful states of mind that you can be-happy.jpgadopt. Not only does it make you feel good, it shifts your focus from what you don’t have to what you DO have, and keeps it there! As you focus more on what you are grateful to have in your life (even the really small blessings!), you worry less about anything that may be lacking. The result? A more pervasive sense of happiness!
2) Take time to smell the roses. If you spend most of your days feeling rushed and scattered, it’s hard to feel happy and content. In order to be truly happy, you need to make time for yourself to relax, dream, and take pleasure in life’s simpler moments. Beginning today, make sure to spend time doing things you love on a regular basis. Read a book that stimulates your imagination; listen to music you love; take long walks, and allow yourself to enjoy your life as it is right now.
3) Love the journey. Many of us make the mistake of pinning all of our expectations on some vague, far-off result, like the completion of goals. We believe that once we “get there” everything will be perfect and we’ll finally be happy. However, there is much to be gained from enjoying the journey toward your destination! Make it your mission to revel in every moment that you’re moving toward a higher goal. Enjoy the sense of growing self-mastery and accomplishment you gain with every goal you achieve. Make it a worthwhile journey and you’ll savor the end result that much more!
The most important thing to understand about happiness is that it is largely a CHOICE you make from moment to moment. Though certain serious situations make it difficult to feel happy at times, most often we allow the little things to bother us and block any happiness we would otherwise feel. Embrace happiness, and it will grow to incredible proportions in your life!
The problem with this pattern of thinking is that, even if those specific things happen in our lives, we’re rarely satisfied with them! Instead, we shift our focus to something even bigger and better, believing “it” will make us happy (or happier). We never allow ourselves to reach a point of contentment. Have you done the same thing to yourself?
The good news is that you can decide to be happy NOW – even if not everything in your life is perfect.
Below you’ll find 3 easy ways to do so:
1) Be grateful. Gratitude is one of the most powerful states of mind that you can be-happy.jpgadopt. Not only does it make you feel good, it shifts your focus from what you don’t have to what you DO have, and keeps it there! As you focus more on what you are grateful to have in your life (even the really small blessings!), you worry less about anything that may be lacking. The result? A more pervasive sense of happiness!
2) Take time to smell the roses. If you spend most of your days feeling rushed and scattered, it’s hard to feel happy and content. In order to be truly happy, you need to make time for yourself to relax, dream, and take pleasure in life’s simpler moments. Beginning today, make sure to spend time doing things you love on a regular basis. Read a book that stimulates your imagination; listen to music you love; take long walks, and allow yourself to enjoy your life as it is right now.
3) Love the journey. Many of us make the mistake of pinning all of our expectations on some vague, far-off result, like the completion of goals. We believe that once we “get there” everything will be perfect and we’ll finally be happy. However, there is much to be gained from enjoying the journey toward your destination! Make it your mission to revel in every moment that you’re moving toward a higher goal. Enjoy the sense of growing self-mastery and accomplishment you gain with every goal you achieve. Make it a worthwhile journey and you’ll savor the end result that much more!
The most important thing to understand about happiness is that it is largely a CHOICE you make from moment to moment. Though certain serious situations make it difficult to feel happy at times, most often we allow the little things to bother us and block any happiness we would otherwise feel. Embrace happiness, and it will grow to incredible proportions in your life!
How To Be Happy
1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
Saturday
Relationships With You
As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself consciously and unconsciously thinking about and searching for that special someone. My goal has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, which includes being married by the time I'm thirty.
This goal may seem far-fetched and I admit it is, so I'm open to altering it. I know what I want in a future spouse (I think) and I definitely know what I don't want. But the older I get, the more I realize that the challenge to find someone who fits what I want and what I don't want seems like "mission: impossible." My impatience steps in which seems to prolong my wait to meet this future wife of mine.
Occasionally, I reflect on the thought that she is out there somewhere so I wonder what she is doing at that very moment and if she is thinking of me. As much as I am actively trying to find someone, I'm reminded by my friends how they found their special someone when they were least expecting to. I have to remind myself and know that God will introduce me to her and reveal who she is when we are both ready.
So does that mean I'm not ready? I think I am, but at times I have my doubts. Maybe she isn't ready, which could mean that she is doing something to better herself for our relationship. I'll always go back to the question of if I'm ready or not. How will I know? I believe the answer lies in how I respond to the following questions:
I ask myself if I'm financially ready. Who is? I graduated college a couple of years ago and have already went through two career changes and I have been laid off. Needless to say, my checkbook is nowhere near where I want it to be, I won't even mention credit cards. So I need to think more about saving for my future, buying a house, and paying off some bills. After all, I don't want to drag her into my debt and spending habits. I know that I need to better myself in regards to finances.
I ask myself, am I physically fit and attractive? The honest answer is that I'm not in as good of shape as I'd like to be and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I need to join a gym, look online for articles about cooking healthier for bachelors, and watch how many times I go out to eat. What is a better motivator to working out besides looking good for yourself and gaining that confidence, than wanting to look good for your significant other? After all, I hope my wife is attracted to me as I am to her.
I ask myself, am I smart? With a college degree I think so, until I watch shows like Jeopardy or play board games with friends and I realize that I still have a lot to learn. I am thinking of going back to school. After all, I want my wife to think I'm intelligent.
I ask myself if I'm in the spiritual place with God that I want to be. Do I attend church every week? Do I read the Bible each day? Am I asking more from God than I am thanking Him during prayer? Am I a good example for others and am I teaching them about God? After all, I hope my future wife and I can pray together and maybe take a leadership role in a youth group.
I ask myself, am I happy as an individual? A relationship can bring happiness and fill the void of being alone, but should I put that burden on my future wife? If you are comfortable being yourself, being happy alone and don't need someone, that is a step in the right direction. I believe that needing someone to fill a void and wanting someone to fill a void are two entirely different things. This is why your relationships begin with you. After all, if you don't love yourself, then how do you expect someone else to?
"Happiness depends upon ourselves"
When you fulfill the above aspects of your life to an acceptable extent - then watch out, your future spouse may just be at the local bookstore, in the gym, at church, at work, at school, or at the bank. I don't expect to be able to accomplish each of these things in the next four years, but I will always strive to do so. After all, I hope she will always strive to do the same. And most of all, I hope we will continue to strive to do these things together!
Friday
Sometimes Love Comes
Sometimes new love comes between old love and this very moment, you forgot all the promises you made to build this relation and you become completely blind and then after sometime you realised when its too late that the best love was the one that was always there, the old one...
Compare LOve with Pain
Pain
All the pain
The pain in my life you can't see it but i can
Its horrible and discusing
I wish the pain wasn't in my life
But it is and its killing me
The pain is causing me to lose my friends, family and people who i care about
The pain is always there, in the car and at school and at home pain follows me everywere
I can also see if another persons in pain or upset
Pain is everywere in this world
its even following you and me right now
But the best thing to do is fight the pain
I am and its helping a little bit
It will either end you up dead or in the hospital
Pain is everywhere
Pain
Pain
Pain
Pain
Anger courses pain,
Hurt courses pain,
Killing courses pain,
Lieing courses pain,
Death courses pain,
Crying courses pain,
Pain courses crying,
Pain courses death,
Pain courses lieing,
Pain courses killing,
Pain courses anger,
and Pain is hurt.
Pain
pain surrounds you day to day
nothing helps it go away
pain in muscles pain in joints
pain so bad in trigger points.
pain that comes and pain that goes
pain that keeps you on your toes.
pain that people think is in your head.
pain that people don't know
when you sit in your bed wishing you were dead
pain that they will have to go through
pain they will have to see.
what it took to just be me.
pain I go through just at school
pain I wish will make me cool
pain that they will never see what it took to just be me
pain in your life
that makes you strive
to just survive
pain that it took
To just be me
pain i go through.
but people can't see.
NO PAIN- NO GAIN
no pain, no gain, no worry or shame. the more you gain the more the pain, what is pain if there no worry or gain?
gain is the only thing i can think of when i think of success because it is the best.
pain, it rhymes with jane. it the only thing i can think that rhymes with pain.
gain like king arthur and his regin.like calvary in it's pain, i have gain the pain.
gain, pain some say that pleasure is when it is pain, i say no pleasure if you don't gain a thing for your trouble
in the rain.
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